This car we found on vacation is big enough for her, but it takes more strength and steering ability than Maddie can manage for very long.

The world is not built for Maddie. The truth is that a 10 year-old, who is developmentally closer to a 3 year-old, is constantly struggling to fit in. This is not a new phenomenon for my girl. The age math between these 2 factors has always been a battle for her. It just gets tougher as the years go by. This is one of the main truths that hits you fairly early on as a parent of a child with special needs, especially when you have a child like Maddie who has always been in the 95% of height and weight for her age group.

Maddie’s motor skills were always very delayed, so by the time she was ready to ride a tricycle, her legs were already too long to fit properly. They do sell specially made trikes, but the expense is way too much for most families who are already over-burdened financially by their child with special needs. It is a parenting rite of passage to teach your child how to ride a bike without training wheels. Well considering Maddie’s balance struggles I just don’t ever see that happening, especially because our crappy insurance would throw a 4k deductible right off the top, if she did break a bone falling. Instead you find other things that are her version of riding a bike. You see when you have a developmentally delayed girl like Maddie, you become even more excited by seemingly small achievements because you know she has to work so much harder to get there.

There was no toy that has ever made Maddie happier than getting to drive a motorized car around the neighborhood. It didn’t require the same coordination as a bike, so she was in heaven when she was able to use it. After a couple of years, though, her physical growth made it impossible to fit into it anymore. It was one of those many heartbreaking moments trying to explain to her that she could no longer ride in it because of her size. While she might not be as cognizant of everything around her as a typically developing child is, she still gets frustrated and asks why she can’t do things that neighborhood kids that are around her age get to do. It’s really hard to come up with an answer to these questions. The world around Maddie, despite the love she has for it, is often a tough fit. The square peg in a round hole cliche doesn’t do justice much of the time to how difficult it can be for her. And you think the world is sometimes unfair to you. I know when I feel like I can’t seem to catch a break, I think of my girl and realize that I at least have the skills to make things happen. For many people like Maddie, that just isn’t the case.